murbot

MY BROTHER IS GETTING HIS LUNGS TONIGHT HOLY CRAP
I'M LIKE COMPLETELY SHAKING RIGHT NOW AND ALMOST IN TEARS
THIS IS SO NERVE-WRECKING HE IS GETTING ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE!

Depends on their music tastes, but most likely I would recommend some of my favourite bands such as Within Temptation, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil... Yet, I'm kind of the only one in the group of friends I have that like those bands, so I'm sure it won't hurt to recommend them.. Or perhaps The Fray if they don't listen to that band, because that band has the deepest lyrics along with a beautiful voice

Or classic rock bands, like, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Guns N Roses, Rolling Stones, Sex Pistols. Those are great.

“So, what did you expect?” A silent whisperer who is known to have a relatively strong connection to the spiritual world, meaning as in lost spirits who have gone far away waiting to be reincarnated, some spirits whom remain angry at their time of death, others with a feeling of purity and freedom within their soul.



Drenched in open wounds, I was. The deep cut from the glass mirror behind, I was pushed against the mirror; resulting wounds in the back of my head. It’s surprising that I have not even died from blood loss; yet, I have a strong feeling that I will be a lost spirit sometime soon.



The sharp end of the black and dark purple scythe is pressed against my aching throat, blood dripping slowly from the scythe’s sharp end. The sound of the ticking clock is getting louder and louder by the second; my heart is pounding loudly, and my breath was heavy.





“I expected nothing but faultless torture.” Gasping for breath in between of each word said, I attempt to move my fingers slowly. The unbearable pain from getting my fingers forced into the sharpest needles caused me to fail at my attempt on escaping.



My vision was fuzzy; my stomach felt as if it was utterly twisted. Nonetheless, my psychological being remains tough, meaning that I refuse to give up; even if I have the sense that I am going to lose to this battle, even if I am tied down and cannot do anything to save myself, I know that if I have the intelligence to go through it all, I may not become a lost spirit at all.



“Those eyes of yours show that you’ve got some guts.” The whisperer’s mischievous voice dug deep inside my skull, chilling me to the bone.



“My eyes show pure determination, as if I’ll become a spirit lost in a far-away world. You pathetic scum!” Forcing the tone of my voice, attempting to threaten the whisperer in particular ways, after several attempts to threaten this whisperer, they never showed an expression of threat, I have come to the conclusion that this whisperer is unique among the others.



“Whisperer number #26, what is your name?” I asked, meanwhile the voice of mine is breaking.

“My name, you ask?” They glared at me evilly, putting more pressure against my throat with the scythe.

“How inconsiderate of you to ask of my name, foolish child.” A cold, harsh voice; their heavy, angered breath along with their angered eyes, dug through my skull once again; doing nothing but bringing traumatizing memories of the past, as well as for the things I strongly regret, too. I tried to speak; unfortunately my voice broke already; as well as for my mind, all due to these painful, traumatizing memories.



Liquid streams ran down my cold, pale cheeks; trembling even more, my heartbeat is faint.



Now I realize that this is something I cannot defeat myself, and for once and for all; I have been dead in the past few hours in these whisperer’s eyes.



“Farewell, little sister.” The whisperer cackled, ripping my throat out, as well as for tearing my soul apart.



I did not become a lost soul, an angry soul, or a soul of purity. I am a soul who has been shredded to pieces, a soul that signifies destruction.


I was wrong all along …

Once there lived a girl, with a sparkling, white sundress. She wandered aimlessly by the deep blue sea-shore, in the search of a beautiful shell in order to take pictures of, she had an eye for the beauty of photography and the fascinating sights that each photograph can treasure for a very long amount of time.

With no luck, she was not able to find a shell out of her tastes, after sitting in the shore drawing in the sand beside her with her fingertips, oblivious to what she was drawing; the strong waves from the ocean washed it all away. The girl’s dress was soaked wet from the ocean’s strong wave.

She sighed in grief, her feet sunk deep in the sand as she stood there gazing into the sight of the ocean waves. Another wave crashed in the shore, releasing the tie on the girl’s hair due to its strong motion, the girl’s hair was let down to upper-back length. Her eyes rolled as she shrugged, walking towards her tie-dye towel, snatching the cord of her camera, wrapping it around her right wrist, swinging it around cautiously; not wanting for it to fall onto the ground.

She walked through her usual pathway, which almost seemed like a forest; it was surrounded by trees, plants, flowers, with some muddy puddles here and there. For once, she observed the surroundings of this pathway to home, she crossed an area where laid very lovely roses, she paused, only to look at the area where there are many flowers. Her pupils grew wide, and to her surprise, she has spotted a beautifully fully-bloomed rose. She walked right up to the pink rose, held onto it softly with her palm to only smell its scent.

She thought for a bit, and turned to look at the camera that was tied with its cord to her wrist. She let out a bright smile, placed her hands on the roots of the rose, avoiding its thorns and as soft as possible, she ripped the roots of the rose and held onto it.

She ran towards the ocean shore once again, only to place the rose in the deep-blue water, as she zoomed in attempting to get the perfect shot, she succeeded with a smile. She proceeded in taking different shots in different angles of the beautiful rose that floated in the ocean.

Time flied past and the sun has already begun to set, she held the rose tightly, not wanting to let it go. She took her belongings back home, into the pathway once again.

The girl wiped her sandals on the rug that read “Welcome” in front of entrance door; she opened the door and rushed to grab a glass of water to place the rose in, so it won’t wither in such a short amount of time.

After softly placing the rose on the glass, she gazed into the beauty that the rose holds, its scent, its colour, its petals, as well as for the slight sight of a water drop on top of a petal.


As days have passed, the rose’s colour began to fade slowly, no longer having its natural colour from when it was first spotted. The girl continued taking shots on every sight she fancied, that matched her tastes. She looked at the rose for the very first time since that day she picked it out, noticing its beauty fading away. She did not care of it whatsoever and headed to bed.

That very night, the rose’s colour completely faded, leaving only a gray complexion of the rose, no sight of other colour. The girl, whom slept peacefully for some time, opened her eyes suddenly, as if her eyes were forced open, only to find that the light was dim. She sat up in a fast motion, breathing heavily, grabbing onto her chest which was highly painful. She tilted to the right, and before her eyes was the same pathway, with the same surroundings from when she first found that rose. Her body moved by itself, her mind went from pondering, to screaming to stop. The forest’s atmosphere in the pathway gave the girl an uneasy feeling, causing her to fall on her knees, covering her mouth with one hand while the other hand held her up from falling flat. She coughed up an indisputable amount of blood, her whole entire body shook.

The girl had enough strength to stand back up on her own two feet, as her mind screamed louder and louder to quit moving, her body had no response to the brain’s command. She shook, thinking it was only a mere dream and nothing more. Her feet leaded to where she once picked the fully-bloomed rose; yet, there was no rose, despite of having the same exact appearance from when she picked up that rose.

A soft, yet broken hand tilted her chin. The girl saw an amorous view of a lady, her appearance almost compatible to even label as “Goddess”. The “Goddess” had long, wavy, pink hair that would flow with the wind. She had a long, white dress that almost looked like the girl’s sundress; yet, it was longer, with pink tones added onto it.

The “Goddess” softly whispered into the girl’s ear; “This is the Rose’s Revenge.” She shut her eyes, raising her hands toward the sky; taking control of the pathway’s forest, as the girl pleaded for salvation, the plants held her tight, incapable of fighting the plant’s. The “Goddess” forced a smile, as tears stream down from her eyes. “I do not exist just for your pleasures.” The “Goddess” held the root from where she was taken from, she petted the thorns as her hands bled from the thorn’s sharpness. The girl cried, with her eyes as big as it can be. The “Goddess” opened her eyes, glaring at the girl; the “Goddess” kissed the thorns softly, “Go.” She spoke; the thorns took allowed themselves to be controlled like puppets, killing the girl in less than a second.
The plants let go of the girl, letting her body fall; the “Goddess” leaped to capture the body, on her knees, the “Goddess” smiled to the girl as she let her fingers brush through her hair, “Death is . . . a very painful thing, isn’t it, pretty little girl?”. The “Goddess” gave a tender kiss to the young girl on the lips, the wind grew heavily and fast; and a rosebud was born in the same area where the fully-bloomed rose once lived.

The “Goddess” closed her eyes; the girl’s body broke into many petals, flying to where the newly born rosebud is. She smiled, placing her palm softly on the bottom of the rosebud, whispering warm and kind words that once was said to receive good luck once having received words from the “Goddess” “May you live happily as a rose, little girl; and may you have learned a valuable lesson.”

The “Goddess” smiled, her body began to break out, as it began to shatter, she whispered: “One day . . . you will be a wonderful rose, even more wonderful than I ever was.” Her whole entire body shattered into thousands of gray petals, which turned to dust, and flew away with the wind.

I really, REALLY have no idea why the freak I keep switching journals/blogs or whatever. Well, I've been writing a lot, as in, deep thought (my feelings) in my blogger. http://strawberryxkiwii.blogspot.com/

I dunno if I'll still be postin' here since I really have not many friends on LJ, I'll most likely post once in awhile. Hopefully.

So today I went to an orientation for school today. It's basically to show you how High School is, take a look at the clubs and sign up for it for next year, looking at the classrooms and students artwork. Performances too, dance class; choir; stomp; flags & cheerleading. The flag dancing is what I found most appealing, cheerleading was pretty awesome too. I've never seen such performances in my life, so this is definitely a first.

Yet, I was very paranoid over the fact that it was so crowded. I was pretty much acting bitchy to my mother (I'm not going to lie) I kept clinging on to her. It was really.. like.. no idea, it got me so nervous to be around so many people that I almost cried. I went to the other side of the gym which had all the clubs and the information about it. I wanted to join a sport but I have to ask my doctor about it since most sports have physical contact. (I was looking forward into joining either soccer or softball.). My mother pushed me into joining the anime club, scared I was into approaching them. They were really nice to me and told me all about it and what they do. They were pretty much the only group that actually talked to me when I was too scared to approach them. I'm excited for starting High School now, and making new friends.

Also, the DVD thing when they showed how the school was certainly gave me hope about going. Perhaps things will turn out fortunate and not how I think it will end up like. A friend I had that was a classmate of mine in 6th grade (which I stayed there for a month or so.) recognized me and approached me, she talked to me a bit. I couldn't help but chuckle that someone who I once consider a really good friend got expelled from middle school because of her doing drugs. Haha, some people are so pathetic these days. I don't think she'd really be the type to do all that though. In fact, she was pretty much the only one who ever bothered to visit me a lot of times when I stopped going to school because I was really sick.

Maybe then she will be a good friend in the future. Who knows? She's the only one that has ever cared.

I ask how they are doing.

When I wish I could forget some of the traumatizing things in the past, they have made an impact on my life; by teaching me hard & painful lessons.

I've done it before on purpose, lololol.

And a friend of mine gives me a ton of spoilers and spoils some animushows , after I tell her to stop she just keeps talkin' and talkin'.. ....